Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Emotional Self Defense


Time to leave - and rebuild!

Source: safenetwork.org



E
motional self defense is, in my view, as important as physical self defense.



You might also refer to this type of self defense as psychological. I find the term “emotional” to be more direct – and immediate. When someone tears away at the fabric of your mind, he strikes at your emotions. You dissolve in fear, anger, and sadness.

Attacks on your emotions are also attacks on your body. Sadness and depression weigh heavily on your lungs; anger settles into your liver; fear creates havoc with your kidneys and bladder.

Name calling, threats, emotional blackmail, slander, sarcasm and just plain old bullying have as much force - if not more - than a punch or kick. Especially if these attacks are ongoing.





As prevalent as childhood bullying

Source: okanaganlakebc.com



The least that they will do is rob you of your self-confidence and change the very person that you are into a hollowed out shell.

And the worst? I’ve seen people develop serious illnesses as a result of emotional attacks.

That’s why when I first posted on self defense, I began with the Fuel for Self Defense. Real self defense begins with a nurturing of the self.

“I believe that I am a person of value.” And that belief is nurtured and built up every day to become so strong, with roots so deep, that no one can ever take it away from you.

This lies at the heart and soul of all martial arts training. And it should be at the core of your self defense training as well.

As I suggested in the Fuel for Self Defense…draw a line in the sand. Do not let adult bullies snipe at you and chip away at your self-confidence. Nothing is worth the suffering.

For example, if you’re a woman in a relationship and your partner is constantly telling you that –

1.   You can’t do things right

2.  You can’t manage your own affairs

3.  You’re stupid

- it’s time to move on, and fast. He is, literally, a disease…and he will bring you down. Nothing but some quick and radical surgery will separate you from the growing misery you’re going to find yourself in.





A women's shelter - this photo just shows the external wounds

Source: risingblackstar.com



Train like the “internal” side of the martial arts does: fill yourself up with your own personal energy and maintain this energy in a state of “song” (Cantonese for a relaxed, springy state of power).

It’s great to develop just a thick skin but that type of exterior armour can be penetrated by a well-aimed sarcastic remark, especially from a loved one. Only a belief in the self that has roots in the marrow of your bones will see you through the “slings and arrows” of workplaces or personal relationships.

Train hard, and separate yourself from people who try to bring you down. Build a you that you can be proud of. That’s real emotional self defense!




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